Or grab a cold one and pull up a chair. Lots going on in the sphere and its dirty laundry thats needed aired out for some time.
I know its allowed me to refocus my energies.
My previous posts are just as relevant today as when I posted them, I retract nothing.(the edit being the only part and my reason was sound)
I have stated I am no leader. Just that simple statement, make what you will of it. I have been in 'command' several times in my life, even in a small way during my military tour. I have ran a business with 13 employees. I have ran road crews while on tours where my hands were different day to day. I have jumped in, in emergencies to control crowds, and had no incidents of damage to persons or equipment. I can do it IF need is there. I choose not to step forward unless need dictates.(use your imagination on what that dictate may be, its quite situational.)
My reasoning is based upon my own independence. I am one that tries hard to be the solution to any problem I encounter. It has made my world rather hard to share at times. I am probably putting into words something that others have ran into also. My Ex stated pretty simply but with much wisdom when we split up, that I am "too intense". I am a hard person to live with because I am so demanding of myself. I accommodate others but many find it hard to exist near me; due to my example I guess. To put it lightly, I have very few friends other than the ones on the net that don't have to deal with me on a day to day basis.
As you have seen in the year and half (or has it been two plus years now, I dunno) that I have been blogging, I do for myself on as much as I can. I constantly educate myself, I constantly put that education to work for me, and try to help others through my knowledge (that last may not be as apparent since I don't often talk about the stuff I do for others) There are times where the intensity of my thought bubbles can drive others absolutely nutz. Even the shell I build around me when I am cramming my head with info can be exasperating to those close to me.
And I don't want to change a damned thing. If I am to be lonely and single till the end days, so be it. Accept me as I am or walk away. LOL.
All of the dirty laundry really gets summed up for me in three posts today. One by Concerned American, one by Bill Nye, and the other by Arctic Patriot. I read all three and had some time to think while driving the return trip of my route today. It all boils down to, we ain't gettin no younger, and only we are responsible for what WE do between now and death, and It ain't worth shit if you aren't willing to own up to it for yourself.
Some JBT could bust the door in at Zero Dark Thirty and its still up to ME to decide to cap his ass or submit. Either way, the end result is just a consequence that I have to decide my willingness to accept.
no more
no less.
Everything I have done in my life is mine. Like it or not.
regrets?
A couple. Nothing that I can't live with. One I have been making amends with and it has turned out far better than I ever thought possible.
Everything I have done in my life is mine. Like it or not.
Every action I take 'tween now and dead, I own. No one can force me to do what I don't want to do. No one. I choose to compromise or not. The only thing they can force upon me is the ending and that 'force' is going to end badly for all involved.
And as Bill so eloquently put it. I OWN IT.
James Maynard. mynamewithnospaces40 AT gmail.com
I will be off Blog for a couple of weeks, to finish my story and post it accordingly. I really have nothing political to say anymore. Stay tuned for further chapters and details of my projects and my house. As Toaster 802 put it: "Then pull up a chair on that nice porch, butter the popcorn, and watch them burn the village to save it."
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8 comments:
James,
Great post!!! Glad to see you come out of the closet ( so to speak)it will feel good, best decision I ever made.
Check back, Going one step further. and you're right, I feel better already.
Dude ! It's like ur describing myself, with part of what your saying. Keep on truckin my friend.
Ditto Spud. Like a mirror of my mind. Dio, if you ain't my long lost brother, you're certainly my brother in arms and in spirit. Semper Fi from a squid. I might not have been on the beach with ya, but I carried you there and pulverized it before you went ashore...
Our similarities are our strength and our main weakness. Our independence makes us formidable, yet scatters us to the winds while the rest gather and huddle in fear.
That fear is why we are where we are today.
Spud, Not sure what part reminds you of you, but it surprises me not at all. I can see it in your responses.
Mayberry, Thanks much for pounding the sand into dust and getting my lazy ass across 6000 miles of ocean to Kuwait (and yes, my unit floated there via the islands south of Korea. Olongopo/Subic Bay was a blast.) Squid, Jarhead, its all the same when you get over the details.
Enjoy the time off, James.
See you on the other side.
Justin (Oops)
AP
I am hoping you have an extra chair on that porch for an old, broke down 0311. I'll bring the jiffy pop, you bring the marshmallows. Or an AT4.
Shooting. It is great therapy.
The porch will always be open for company, and the creek will always have cold beer waiting.(Comes from an old coal mine, cold as hell year round.) If ya enjoy the view of trees, its will be a great place to recharge the batteries.
(and sadly, it ain't in existence yet :( but I am working on it.)
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